


Towards the Door We Never Opened

by Ailette



Category: Produce 101 (TV), VICTON (Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Byungchan thinking way too much, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 04:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21422008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailette/pseuds/Ailette
Summary: When he steps foot into his room that day, planning to just get his bag and then head out again for the unexpected half-day off, he stops to stare, wide-eyed, at his bed. His very occupied bed.
Relationships: Choi Byungchan/Han Seungwoo, Han Seungwoo/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 82





	Towards the Door We Never Opened

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely self-indulgent, sorry? More fluff next time!!

With all the crazy things Byungchan has come home to before, he has learned to expect the unexpected when returning to the dorm. Be it a whole camera crew, a cat that is suddenly their group's fake pet, Hanse rapping naked in the living room, Sejun trying to grill meat over an actual open fire – the point is, idol life can be ridiculous and he's been doing it long enough by now not to be easily surprised anymore.

But when he steps foot into his room that day, planning to just get his bag and then head out again for the unexpected half-day off, he still stops to stare, wide-eyed, at his bed. His very occupied bed.

Occupied by none other than their currently supposed-to-be absent leader; lying on his side with one arm folded under his head, eyes closed and mouth just barely open.

Carefully, he takes a few steps closer, half-expecting Seungwoo to suddenly jump up to scare him, but his deep, slow breaths hint at him truly being asleep.

“What are you doing here?” he wonders, voice a whisper.

Since Seungwoo doesn't stir in the slightest, he finally sits down in front of the bed, watching him curiously. He looks thinner than the last time Byungchan saw him in person, which isn't a good sign considering he'd already lost weight during Produce and never really had any to lose. His hair is a curious light green-blueish color and he ponders if its to blame for how pale he looks, if he can blame the rings under his eyes on the lighting. He wonders just how exhausting his schedule must be nowadays and how he found the time to come here and then, again, what he came here for.

He is loath to wake him though. As much as he misses the older man every day, he knows the difference between someone sleeping and someone passed out. Seungwoo looks uncomfortably close to the latter, even as his face is slack, giving the illusion of relaxation.

Leaning against the wall next to the bed, he quietly digs out his phone, scrolling until he finds Wooseok's number to shoot him a message.

_Hey, do you guys have today off?_

As usual, it only takes a moment for the other man to reply – sometimes he wonders if there is any truth to Jinhyuk telling him Wooseok even takes his phone into the shower with him.

_Got a night shoot later. Why?_

Byungchan's gaze flies to Seungwoo's peaceful form and he bites his lip. There's a part of him that doesn't want to give away that the older man is here, wants to keep even just this small encounter to himself. There is so little of Seungwoo he gets to keep to himself these days. But he's been selfish before and where did that lead him? He shakes his head at his own thoughts, a voice that sounds too much like Seungwoo scolding him for blaming himself.

_Found Seungwoo-hyung in our dorm. _

The three dots that signal Wooseok typing appear and stay for several minutes, making Byungchan frown at his phone. The other man is usually a fast typer.

_What time does he have to be back?_

The dots stop for a moment, then appear again, but only briefly this time.

_Leaving at 8 sharp._

_Ok, I'll get him back to you by then! :D_

He glances up at the time, biting his lip unhappily when he realizes that there is only a little over an hour left. How long had Seungwoo already been here, he wonders. How long had he been waiting for them before he fell asleep? And why hadn't he just called them? A surprise visit was risky at the best of times, with their irregular schedule. His phone vibrated and he looked down again.

_Is he alright?_

_Fell asleep._

_One sec_

Byungchan frowns at his phone again and rubs his face in frustration. He's friends with Wooseok, likes the other man a good deal. There's really no reason for him to feel this irritated over a few texts.

There's a little huff coming from the bed and he looks up quickly to find Seungwoo readjusting his position slightly before pushing his face seemingly even further into the pillow and Byungchan has to smile at the sight. It's always been rare to catch their seemingly omnipotent leader unaware, but with how little he's seen of him lately, the peaceful sight seems even more precious.

He reaches out to push some of the hair out of his eyes, careful not to wake him but feeling like the weight of his stare might still do it. If he's honest with himself, he knows perfectly well why he's feeling so proprietary over the older man. He knows the name of this ugly feeling, but calling it jealousy out loud would not change anything for the better.

He'd had years to make his feelings known, had all the chances in the world when he could have watched Seungwoo sleep every night just a few meters away from him. It would have been easy to slip in beside him, knowing full well that even if Seungwoo might not reciprocate his feelings, he never would have shoved Byungchan away.

His phone vibrates again, serving as a stinging reminder for the chance he never took.

_ Your dorm is on the way to the shooting location, so we can just come and pick him up. You've got until 8:10ish._

_Thank you!!_

_I'll come up so don't bother waking him before._

_Got it._

There's a guard downstairs, but Byungchan supposes if anyone out of X1 might not get recognized on sight, he will be the one member definitely getting up anyway. The thought makes him huff out a soundless laugh and he shakes his head before leaning it back against the wall and letting his phone slide into his pocket.

As he watches Seungwoo sleep, he considers whether he should call the others. Seungsik would want to talk to his partner in crime and Subin will pout later if he learns Seungwoo was here and he missed him. Scratch that, Subin will pout a little, but Hanse will full-on sulk once he finds out.

Picturing their reactions makes Byungchan want to sigh again; he misses that. For purely selfish reasons he misses Seungwoo an awful lot but he also misses them all together, as the weird make-shift family they have become over the years. They are already in the middle of preparing for their long overdue comeback, making this their last bit of free time left in a while, and not one day passes where one of them doesn't turn around to get Seungwoo's opinion or ask for his advice or sometimes just share a joke with him at another member's expense.

There is a gaping hole in their middle that will remain as such for at least two and a half years to come. Probably longer. He can only hope it will become less painful as time passes and he knows Seungwoo is trying his hardest to be there for them on top of his responsibilities for the other ten people now relying on him.

He wonders if they take him for granted, too. Like they did. He wonders if they will suffer this same feeling of loss when Seungwoo will have to leave for enlistment, wonders if he will feel a twisted sense of satisfaction then or maybe sympathy.

The room turns dark around him as he thinks and he never does call the rest of VICTON; he will deal with the fall-out later. They are truly family in the sense that they will probably have a fight about it, but they will also understand his decision.

Far too soon, he feels his phone move against his leg again and he gets up from the floor with a wince, his body expressing its unhappiness with the position he'd been sitting in almost immobile for nearly two hours.

He only gets his phone out in the living room, a short glance down reasserting what he already knew.

_I'm here._

Arriving in front of the door, he lets the phone slide back into his pocket and takes a deep, steadying breath before putting his hand on the handle. Mentally chiding himself for suddenly being so dramatic, he pushes down and pulls the door open; automatically smiling and waving at the sight of Wooseok leaning onto the opposite wall with his arms crossed in front of him.

As he sees him, the smaller man sends back a small smile and nods before following Byungchan's waved invitation to enter. He seems hesitant, stopping just a step inside to slip out of his shoes and then turn back to Byungchan nervously.

Right, he thinks, this has to be somewhat weird for him.

Endeavoring to make it less awkward, Byungchan smiles a little brighter and enthusiastically motions his friend along as he leads the way to his bedroom. He wonders what Wooseok thinks as he curiously looks around; is a little thankful for the darkness because he's sure the dorm looks a mess to anyone not living here.

It's probably not much better in X1's dorm, but there is that ugly little feeling in his chest again that doesn't want to lose to Wooseok even in such an odd area right now.

As they reach the bedroom, he stops in the door and motions towards the bed. Like a curious cat, Wooseok sticks his head inside first to look around before he obviously bites down on a smile. His expression changes to a conspiratorial grin in Byungchan's direction as he raises his phone and takes a few careful steps inside. Stopping and then leaning back to get the perfect shot of the person sleeping in front of them.

He seems to take a few pictures before nodding in satisfaction and Byungchan will have to ask him to share those later, mentally slapping himself for not thinking of taking a photo for himself.

Another chance missed.

He watches silently as Wooseok takes the last step towards the bed and seems to hesitate there for a moment, just watching Seungwoo as he lies there, deceptively peaceful. The smaller man is all but gnawing on his lower lip, shooting Byungchan a last quick, nervous glance before adjusting his posture so he is angled more towards the oldest.

It doesn't change anything, Byungchan can still see him reach out and softly push the strands of hair out of Seungwoo's eyes; the gesture making Byungchan's heart seem to stop beating for a moment with how eerily similar it is to what he did earlier. But unlike Byungchan, he doesn't stop after the unobtrusive move, instead letting his finger run down Seungwoo's cheek and gently cupping his face to wake him up.

He can see Seungwoo stir on the bed, legs twitching before his face moves up and into the touch.

“Hey,” Wooseok says softly in a tone of voice Byungchan has never heard from him before that makes him feel like he's the one intruding, even though they are standing in his home. “Time to get back to work.”

Before he knows what he's doing he's backing away, out to the hallway and into the living room. It's not far enough to miss Seungwoo's rough and sleepy voice as he answers, clearly somewhat disoriented and Byungchan stops to listen, the ache in his chest demanding he stay.

“Wooseokie? What... How did you get here?”

“Byungchan told me you were here so I came to pick you up. We've got that shoot tonight, remember? The others are downstairs in the bus.”

“Right,” a sound like someone stretching and the mattress protesting lightly as someone moves on it. “Where is Byungchanie though?”

“What do you mean where-” Wooseok stops abruptly and Byungchan can feel himself panicking for no reason. “Oh. He's... he had to leave. Earlier.”

For a second Byungchan is just grateful for the quick lie, suddenly not sure how he would explain away just silently sitting next to and staring at their sleeping leader. It's also good that Seungwoo isn't awake enough yet to wonder who let Wooseok in if supposedly no one else is in the dorm. There's a rustling of sheets and Byungchan quickly backs up further, looking around for a space to hide with wide eyes that land on the clothes rack. Without another thought he dives behind that and misses some of what the two men in his bedroom are saying.

As they step into the living room together, he can see Wooseok quickly scanning the room and frowning lightly, but he's also soon distracted by a still sleepy looking Seungwoo, who has his arm around the smaller man's shoulders and is smiling at him fondly.

“You didn't have to come and pick me up, you know. I left my phone on so I could hear if anyone called.”

“Sure,” Wooseok returns and Byungchan is almost certain their eyes meet through a row of shirts for just a moment. Wooseok leans away a little as Seungwoo pulls him against his side, looking nervous. “Anyway, let's go. The others are waiting.”

“Can't leave the kids waiting,” Seungwoo hums and a part of Byungchan is happy to see him in such a relaxed mood. Maybe letting him rest was the right choice after all.

“Just a second,” Seungwoo suddenly says when they are already out of Byungchan's field of view, probably right in front of the door.

“Mmmh?” Wooseok makes and then there's a soft smacking sound, like a playful kiss being placed on someone's cheek, Byungchan thinks and feels his back hit the wall behind him.

“Thanks for looking out for me.”

And if he could maybe reason away that sound as something else, though he doesn't know what else it could be, there is no denying how flustered Wooseok sounds as he demands they leave quickly and the next thing he hears is the opening and closing of the door, followed by footsteps down the hall outside.

He knew. Of course he knew.

Just because he never took his chance, didn't mean no one else would.


End file.
